Chapter 3 (my salvation story episode 4)

 There was a season in my life when I walked through intense pain. I wrestled with hurt and resentment toward many of those who had conspired against me. I grew weary and wanted nothing to do with them. Outwardly, I remained calm, as though I understood everything that was happening, but inwardly, I was struggling.

As time passed, I began to notice flaws among the members of my group, The Children of Light. It became clear that many of us were there for different reasons and with different motives. I found myself wondering, Could this have been one of the reasons the group eventually came to an end?

Then the Holy Spirit turned the mirror toward me. I realized that I, too, had my own faults. I had people who looked up to me—permit me to call them “disciples.” I was deeply honored, celebrated, and appreciated beyond what I ever imagined. Without realizing it, that recognition began to shape my identity. Slowly, I lost sight of my true purpose because I became more conscious of having followers than of following Christ wholeheartedly.

I didn’t know it then, that God was testing me with all of this experiences. He wasn’t trying to destroy me—He was preparing me for what lies ahead.

Throughout my walk with Him, He has continually tutored me. Every time I begin to feel like I have arrived or that I am in control, He reminds me that I have only scratched the surface of what He wants to teach me.

Leadership is a gift. Position is an opportunity.

But both can become destructive when they are no longer surrendered to God.

Be mindful. People often celebrate you while they benefit from what you carry. But when that benefit is no longer available, you begin to see people’s true motives. What we sometimes call love is not always love—it may simply be convenience. Time has a way of exposing what is genuine and what is not.

For this reason, my focus became simple: my wife, my God-given assignment, and my walk with the Lord. I had no desire to chase more responsibilities when I have not yet been fully faithful with what God has already entrusted to me.

There have been many situations where I wanted to react, but God kept teaching me to respond instead.

Before my encounter with Jesus, I was quick to point out the faults I saw in the Body of Christ. I condemned many things. Interestingly, some of those same situations have resurfaced in my own journey with God. Now I understand that my response is the real test and my assignment. Will I become what I once condemned, or will I become what Christ intended His Church to be?

This is my assignment. Perhaps it is yours as well.

I didn’t leave the Church. I didn’t abandon my calling. I didn’t walk away from my assignment.

Instead, I chose to keep responding with the love of Christ. And when it becomes difficult—as it sometimes does—I ask God for the grace to help me.  I’ve also learned that not every position is mine to pursue. 

To everyone reading this:

Whatever you are going through has not come to break you—it has come to build you.

Do not become consumed with titles, positions in the Body of Christ. What God has ordained you for will never pass you by. Instead, focus on living in such a way that people encounter God through you. 

Don’t make people see you—Make them see God.

This is more than a story— It is a revelation.

Watch out for the next episode.